29 Oct 2016

Don't add your Boyfriends Mom, Dad on BBM, SnapChat: Says Relationship Consultant, Joro Olumofin

Should Relationships be a Family Affair? I.e when you're dating someone should you date their whole family too? This is one of the most common questions in couples therapy and counseling because Family plays a major role in the success or failure of a relationship.

I must also state that there is no fixed solution or approach towards this question or phenomenon ; Should you date your boyfriend / girlfriends family too? This is because it is relative I.e families differ, personalities differ, society frameworks differ so there is no generalized solution but only a situational solution.

This being said, some people today Guys/Ladies date their girlfriends or boyfriends family even extended Family too, they develop an intimate relationship with their boyfriends family members, attend all family functions, add all family members on bbm, whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram, snapchat , go to their boyfriends house to do chores (wash plates, clothes), go and help their boyfriends mom and sisters tie Gele and cook for them, travel to Ogun/Ondo/Imo state for a distant uncles 50th birthday party, call their boyfriends cousin to dish out relationship advice etc.

The question remains are all these acts beneficial to the growth and prosperity of a relationship? Are these acts unnecessary ? Are you giving people the right to interfere in your relationship?

In my Opinion, I believe you should not date your bf/gfs family too, of course have a cordial relationship with them but don't involve them in the day to day activities of your relationship because they are going to bring their own experiences, expectations and requirements into your relationship and sometimes even tell you how to manage your life or affairs.

Extraneous Variables in Psychology always needs to be reduced or controlled to get an Objective result, besides a relationship should be between 2 people not 3,4 or 5, also sometimes you need to make your own mistakes so that you learn first hand from them. As I said earlier , it's relative. So do what works for you in your own situation and environment.

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