20 Feb 2016

God forbid my ex-husband comes back into my life: Nollywood Actress, Monalisa Chinda

Nollywood actress, Monalisa Chinda in recent interview with Thisdaylive, discusses what failed in her previous marriage and her unflinching desire to love and be loved again. As a mother, Monalisa, says her world is incomplete without her delightful daughter and how many children she intends to have for her new man.

On Describing Herself: I am a very joyful, determined, hardworking and highly motivated person. I am straightforward and take things in stride in a very positive manner. I am adventurous by nature and love new challenges as it gives me the zeal and impetus to work towards excellence. Acting for me is a major part of my life but I am also very passionate about charitable work which includes promoting autism awareness across Africa. One thing I firmly believe in is that one should always strive towards individual betterment, in whichever form it may be. I have a huge faith in God and he has been always faithful in many ways.

On childhood: I’m from a religious background. I ‘m an Anglican and all the moral teachings I learnt while I was growing up are still there. While I was seven, I was a member of my church choir. I attended an Anglican school, Archdeacon Memorial Grammar School; it’s a convent school. I’m quite religious.                                                       

On motherhood as a celebrity: Motherhood is the most honourable blessing I have ever received. It has changed the way I live, think, feel and behave. Who knew you could feel so much love for someone? The only word I can think of is to describe it as a joyful experience.

Her greatest role model: My mother, hands down! She is the strongest person I know; very supportive, caring and spiritual. I am grateful for all her sacrifices. If not her, today there will be no Monalisa.  She is a reason why I am alive today. I will always love her. She is a superwoman; indeed, a supermom.                                               

On her daughter’s name (Tamar): Tamar means the tree planted on the desert; it is a symbolic name due to the beauty and fruitfulness of the tree. The wind blows, the storm comes but the tree stays still. It also means the graceful and fertile woman. I have a good reason for naming my daughter Tamar. Besides, she is just too beautiful. She is everything I need now and each time I set my eyes on her my heart is filled with joy because she is a blessing to me. She is a special gift sent from above.                                                    

On one thing she would like her daughter to associate with her: One,  she has got a phenomenal mother who the youths look up to and most important, that she is  got a mother with a good heart, that is after God’s heart. She’s got a unique mother that cares and loves her to a fault.   

On advice to other single working mothers: Everything comes in stages; they need to have a lot of patience, be flexible and hardworking. As a single working mother, I know it gets hard sometimes to raise a child on your own. Through your busy schedule, it can be easy to forget that you are not alone when you have so much to deal with. Building your own support system gives you a shoulder to lean on when it comes to all the things that come with raising a child.  It’s great to surround yourself with life-minded people or people you trust to be involved in your everyday life. In my case, I am incredibly lucky to have a wonderful family and close friends who are always ready to help as needed. And every day I feel enriched by everything that is going on in my life. I am so proud to be a mother.                                            

On favourite activities with her daughter: So many things; I do a lot of things with my daughter especially during weekends. Tamar and I do her homework together. We do colourings and watch her favourite TV shows. We even watch cartoons together. (Laughs) – Yes, I am serious we watch cartoons together and I enjoy it. We also do some outdoor activities such as playing on the swing, bike riding and shopping, which we both enjoy a lot.                                                         

On having time to take care of her daughter: My daughter is my happiness; so I always have time for her.  For me, I try to always work around my daughter’s schedule. By doing this, I give my all to my profession and her upkeep. Most times, we sleep together and I make sure she doesn’t miss my presence when I am out on set. At times, I take her out to most of the places I go to and at the end of the day she is tucked into bed. I set aside some time for myself and plan how to work for the next day. This is the time I will reflect over the day’s work and prepare for the next day.

On her difficult experience in life: So many times; from my broken marriage to other physical challenges that I will not like to mention. Listen, there comes a time in any person’s life when you will surely undergo some difficult experiences in life. How you react to these difficulties is the challenge. As for me, I embrace them as they come and I trust in my God to do that which only him can do – give me resolution on overcoming them and moving on to the next phase in life.

On marriage: I love the whole concept and idea of love. I am open to love and marriage that would work. Marriage is always a better option and I love to be loved. I am currently engaged to the best man in this earth.  We just concluded the introduction ceremony. The white wedding is scheduled to hold soon but I will not disclose the date. But it will take place this year by the special grace of God.                                                                                       

On if her ex, Dejo Richards comes back to her today: God forbid! He’s a closed chapter in my life.                           

On how many children she intends to have: Although it depends on my husband, I hope to have more children because I love children. I have always wanted to have three children. Three is just perfect but it depends.

On her view about divorce: One thing I regret most is the fact that I am divorced. Where I come from, I am the first daughter. I am from a royal family; it was never on record in my family that the first daughter would walk out of her matrimonial home. But it (my marriage) was a matter of life and death. Otherwise, I would have stayed back and make my marriage work. I tried to make it work, but it takes two people to tango. That’s the only thing I regret, having to raise my child without the father. It’s a bit painful. But I have to live with it. It’s better that way than to expose my little daughter to all sorts of domestic violence. It will definitely disorient her and affect her upbringing. She will be dysfunctional. God knows the best. May be, I should have been more careful and make my marriage work.

On her view of Nollywood: Nollywood is really growing fast. We are really exploding all over the world, not just Nigeria alone. I wish to see more impact outside Europe and Africa especially and I pray that God will help more people to be involved.

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